|
|
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
|
|
|
|
Okay, so in my last post I was a little stressed because I didnt know what I was going to be doing after graduation in April. Well, some fantastic things have happened in my life recently: I was offered the MIT position with Abercrombie & Fitch!!! So basically after I graduate April 27th, I will begin my 90 day process of training to be a manager with the company. Well, the good news doesnt stop there. I have never particularly been keen on the idea of sticking around Tallahassee after graduation, I am desperately ready to start the beginning of my adult life someplace else. SOOOOO... when I got the MIT position with A&F, I thought that would mean that I would be stuck in Tallahassee working at the mall here. GREAT NEWS::: the mall here has too many managers, so I have taken the position in Jacksonville!!!!! I am so excited to be moving to Jacksonville, it is a new town, new people... just a new start to life. AND.. as a major bonus, it is about 20 or so mi away from Fernandina... so i will be close to Cliff!!! How crazy is it that when you least expect it, life puts chances right in front of you that would never dream of working out. I thought when Cliff left Tallahassee that our relationship would fizzle. But, in a weird chain of events, our relationship is almost stronger than what it was when he was just a ten minute drive away. I think being away from each other, and realizing that our relationship is more than just drunken lust and parties has made us appreciate so much more of what we have. Life isnt perfect for either of us, and it has never been perfect for us together.. but going through this part of my life knowing that I have him to bring a smile to my face makes things so much easier. After the last post, I didnt think I would be able to see him again until spring break or after.. but after receiving the phone call last friday that I got the MIT position, I decided that afternoon to drive to jacksonville to check out the potential stores I would be at. A trip that was only meant to last a day or so turned into a 5 day escape in Fernandina. I guess it is so weird for me to be overflowing with all these emotions, and Im enjoying just letting them overtake me. Although there are a lot of kinks to work out, and he is still fighting the thought of giving what we have a title... I do know that being with him in a relationship sense is where I am supposed to be at this point in time. It's not easy, sometimes I get so frustrated.. but we are learning so much about each other.. maybe things we missed out on before because we never started this thing as friends. So.. in a simple way.. it is just nice to have him in my life. PLUS.. the Jacksonville area is gorgeous.. and I cant wait to be there during the summer.. even though I will be stuck inside for majority of the time. Now my life stressors are dealing with figuring out what to do with my apartment in Tallahassee, finding a new place in Jax, learning my way around Jax, and experiencing living by myself for the first time ever. Like I said before, I am excited.. but I have some crazy nervous butterflies floating around in my soul. Im sure I will be posting more about my upcoming adventures.. now, if only I can manage to not financially flounder until I start working this new job :)
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, February 12th, 2007
|
|
|
|
i just spent the most amazing weekend with cliff in fernandina. and im torn because it was such a great weekend that it didnt make things any easier between us. it's tough because my heart is nowhere else than with him, but it is NOT logical. this is never going to work out with him. in my head, i want him to be my boyfriend. but it's so dumb, because, making him my boyfriend is not going to change the fact that im here and he's there. the fact that i graduate in april and have no clue what im really going to do with my life. but i cant keep wondering and being jealous over situations that dont exist. or maybe they do exist and im just worrying for nothing. or maybe i am worrying over the inevitable truth. we're worlds apart in our lives, maybe in a different time or place, we could be perfect. but thats part of the problem, we reach those moments when we are close to perfect. and im not saying that in an ill-fated dream, im thinking about those moments when the world is loud around us, and its just me wrapped in his arms, feeling his heart beat and knowing that the silence is comfort. maybe im just not meant to be happy with him.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
|
|
|
Hi all my faithful LJ readers... I figured it is time for an update to wrap up all the loose strings from 2006.
School:
I passed all my classes although I was really struggling in my Sensation and Perception lecture.. I pretty much bombed all the tests and ended up being saved by the final and the lab which was 25% of the grade. Thank goodness. My GPA didnt even drop enough to make a difference.. so all is well.. and yes I will be graduating Spring 2007.
Family Life:
For now, the family is doing well. My parents still arent seeing eye-to-eye on everything, but they are speaking again. My dad finally told my mom he is getting married in June, and she actually seemed okay about it. Finances between the two of them are still pretty rough, but Im trying to take a non-active role in the situation.. Im stepping out of the parenting role and letting them handle it on their own. The older bro is doing good, he is working a full time job that may be stressful, but he is finally able to stand on his own two feet.. I keep pushing for him to move out of Orlando so he can meet better people.. we'll see how that goes.
Work & Such:
As of last Wednesday, I no longer work in the Orientation office. Because I do not want to struggle financially, I decided it would be a good idea to try to secure a job as a server so that I can "make that paper".. I have an interview for a server position tomorrow. I still work at abercrombie kids, and plan on continuing to work for the company. I am supposed to be interviewing for the manager in training program in the very near future. With my fingers crossed I will get the position and then allow the company to relocate me (hopefully to San Diego)... that way I can have a steady job and then intern or go to graduate school. Plus, I'll always be a A&F girl at heart :)
Spiritual, Physical & Emotional Wellbeing:
Last year, just like it seems every year before, was very emotional for me. I feel as if God has been placing these stepping stones in front of me, and I am forced to battle my way up them. I have tried my best to learn better coping mechanisms and realize that not everything that happens in my life is a result of me being a bad person. It is still an everyday struggle for me to handle the stressors in my life in a positive way; sometimes old habits die hard.. but I am proud to say that it has been months since I have dealt with stress with an old habit. And for that I am very thankful. Physically it has been an up and down rollercoaster, my weight has fluctuated from very near my lowest high school weight to the heaviest I have ever been. It is not necessarily because I am eating more or less, but my body has been taking out the stress in weight gain.. which is very unfortunate for me. To combat this, I have decided to take control of my emotions and spiritual lifestyle in order to make improvements. I have strayed away from my spirituality, and that is something I crave in my life in order to seek balance.
Romantic life (if we can even refer to it as that):
For the past 13 months I have been involved in what can only be referred to as the rollercoaster of love. Last December I met Cliff; and through the storm we have continued to be a part of each other's lives. We have gone full circle through every part of a relationship... good and bad. After Austin, I never thought that I would find someone who would tug at my heartstrings so much, and force me to realize that the world is not perfect. I have learned that no matter how much you love someone, you CANNOT change them unless they are ready to change. So in the frustration I realized the reasons I hated Cliff were the exact same reasons I loved him so much. He is my carefree counterpart, and that is probably the best gift he could have ever given me. He allowed me to see that it is possible to keep on smiling even when you are hurting inside; and to persevere even when you arent dealt the best cards in the world. And for that, I will always care for him. Sadly enough, we seemed to be finally reaching a really good point for us right before Xmas break, so we started out the new year together and for the past two weeks spent almost every day/night together.. but, we found out last monday that he was going to have to move back home due to unforeseen circumstances. The past week was spent trying to see the most of each other and pretty much spending every waking moment together... and even though I say that I could never spend that much time with someone.. it quite possibly was the best week Ive spent with anyone. When he left Sunday night, we ended things with a hug, a kiss, and a see you soon. The plan is to visit each other... and see what happens. Because we never were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.. it is very difficult to predict what will happen. But, at least I'll have 13 mths of lessons... and two amazing weeks of memories to hold on to.
And that was 2006 with a step into 2007... who knows what this last semester of college has in store for me.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
|
|
|
|
sometimes i wish my parents never got divorced. seriously. there would be far less stressful times in not only their lives, but mine as well. it is as if the moment family life goes well in one aspect.. it crumbles in another. if it's not us wanting to tear out each other's throats, it is money or holidays or what so-and-so said about whoever behind their backs. it is freakin ridiculous at times. i want a loving family. i don't want to have to play the parent anymore. because if i don't help one parent... then no one will. everything is always a big production of trying to prove whose life is better without the other; basically a huge game of revenge. i thought once you reached a certain age, childish games werent entertaining anymore. when i have my family; there are some things i will expect of my partner. for one, if i am working my ass off to support OUR family, i will demand that my spouse works just as hard. a partnership is just that-- a joint effort. one person should not be bringing in a significantly more amount of money than the other. for goodness sakes' why would you not want to better yourself not only financially but mentally. prove to yourself that you can be more than a part-time barely above minimum wage earning person?! both my spouse and i will love our children mercilessly; it is natural to have your favorites-- but all of our children will known the extent of our love for them. I will continue to love and encourage my partner thru the best and worst of times. My love for my family will be unconditional.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
|
|
|
|
isnt it weird that you can miss someone even when they arent really gone? ive been doing what i do best... which is avoiding the inevitable of ending another going nowhere relationship. i feel as if i should get paid for this shit... as much as i have to do it, but unfortunately it never gets easier. im trying to figure out the best way to end things without becoming an emotional wreck or getting cold feet. but it's stupid to think im not going to cry... or that im not going to want to take it all back after ive said it. blahh.. this sucks because I think I may have actually loved this one.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
|
| Time: | 1:03 am. |
| Mood: |  crushed. |
|
|
days like these make it very hard for me to believe that people are good at heart. because even those that we never expect to hurt us always end up doing so in the end. maybe not intentionally, but simply because the desire to have what we want outweighs the desire to do what is right. ive reached a point in my 21 years of existence that i have come not to expect people do to what is good natured and neighborly, but to do what will only serve to benefit themselves in the end. i think the only question i continue to confront myself with, is why is it that it is so important to simply serve one's self instead of looking out for the emotions of others? I feel as if I have come a long way from where I used to be.. but in reality i may only be kidding myself into believing that i have become a stronger person. there is still that frail innocent child waiting to be taken care of.. waiting for someone to encourage her. but i know for sure, that if i continue to surround myself in this environment; she will never grow.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
|
|
|
|
oh wow. my 21st birthday celebration was amazing. i had the best time with tons of my friends, and i dont know if i will ever be able to top that. i had people drive into town just to spend those special hours with me.. i like to refer to them as my moments of glory.. my drunken moments of glory. i got dumped in the fountain for the first time ever.. and even climbed to the top like a champion. but i think my favorite part was when everyone came to dinner.. it was realll special like. i dunno. a very wonderful birthday indeed. This week has been kinda stressful. Work has been crazy and i havent been getting enough sleep. i met a boy. hahaha.. again. but i dont think much about that situation considering he doesnt live here. but he was nice.. and treated me nice the few days he was in town. the usual drama still continues with the boy whom we no longer mention. i cant believe we are plowing thru the summer. im looking forward to fall semester, i finally saw an advisor and looks like graduation is fast approaching for me. im so friggin excited about starting something new in life. and tonite, i get to go to my favorite tally bar and actually be legal. life is good :)
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Last night was completely obnoxious. Never, and let me repeat.. NEVER allow me to drink energy beer and then down cup after cup of regular beer.. the mix is just not something my stomach can handle. With that being said, I had a good time at the Pub last night.. although we were supposed to make it to a couple of parties also.. it just wasnt going to happen in my state. Diego had to take care of my disgustingly drunk ass, which meant helping me not bust my ass in my 5 inch heels, and buying me a Happy Meal from McDonald's that I proceeded to puke back up around 830 in the morning. yes I am a superstar. Im thinking I may lay off the alcohol consumption for a bit. In my drunkness I managed to pick up a boy he proclaimed to the bar that I was absolutely beautiful (I dont know what he was on.. if anyone saw me last night.. please disregard the sweaty mess that is more commonly referred to as my face) oh well, maybe he saw potential :)
I have a feeling this is going to be a slow week considering Im only scheduled one shift at work. I may need something fun to do.
So Im officially not in any weird awkward committed/not really committed situation anymore. In other words, i am no longer spending majority of my time with evan anymore. which i feel is a step in a positive direction.. ive been trying to "break up" our situation for the past few weeks and so far this weekend has been the longest we've gone without talking in months. i wont talk badly about him.. but we'll just say that what we lacked in sexual chemistry.. he surely did not make up for in maturity. but nonetheless he was a nice lil piece of eye candy to prance around at parties with. let this be a word of advice to the ladies.. boys cannot be molded into what you want at any age.. the better looking they are..the more cocky and arrogant.. it's not their fault tho.. some weird genetic predisposition I suppose. anywho.. i think there is no better way to ring in my fast approaching birthday than with a new 'playmate' <-- a new word i learned from my male co-worker.
UHM.. my birthday is in about 28 days. GET EXCITED!
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
So I still have about a year left of the college lifestyle, but i am sooo over it. Honestly, I could be doing a lot more productive things with my life than dealing with petty bullshit. (ok, this is completely off topic, but im watching a student housing commercial--and there are no black people in the entire commercial! what can black people not be students here in tallahassee or something?!) anywho. i really get annoyed when you give someone the ample opportunity to be upfront and honest, and they still choose to lie and be deceitful. WHY?! I will never be able to understand why people cant say what they mean and mean what they say. Is it really that difficult to just suck up your balls and not sugarcoat things. Im not saying that you have to be rude, but you should be honest in a tactful way. Leading people to believe that you generally care about their well being and feelings when you dont is absolute bullshit. and unfortunately, ive had to tell someone that more than once this week.
Carabeara has been gone for almost three weeks, and she is here right now visiting for a day or two.. and not gonna lie.. zoe and i are pretty excited. we've missed that blonde bombshell.
Work is going really good. I love my job, I will never meet every person that works in the store, but so far- so good. Im getting more hours, so that is exciting.
I cant believe the we still have 3 more months of summer left. We start classes so late.. seems like a lifetime before my senior year is going to start. But i have three months to get all this hardcore partying out of my system so I can academically kick ass this next year. I sort of fell off the wagon this past semester.. we'll just say I had some friendly/and not so friendly distractions to deal with. Who knows what the next few months have in store for me.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
|
Man, this summer has begun on an amazingly good note. I have been spending an obsessive amount of time with my friends.. doing whatever we please.. and just enjoying each other. I had my first shift at Abercrombie kids this morning, and I totally love it. Surprisingly it went really well considering I had to be there at 8am (I have to be to work at 7am tomorrow). The people seem to be really light-hearted and fun to work with. Unfortunately this job wont pay my bills so I desperately need to find another source of income. Money matters aside.. life is going awesome. I dunno, I guess I just generally have a good outlook on things. The countdown until the 21st bday is going to be quickly approaching.. im obviously excited about that. My boy situation is a little crazy in the sense that it never fails that when I start seeing someone..old flames seem to arise out of the woodwork. I guess I need to learn to have some resistance. But then again, we are young, and u only live once. LIFE IS GOOD.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
|
Well, the school year ended on a relatively good note. I mean, I survived so I guess that's all that I could ask for. My grades were reasonable.. but Ive come to the realization that no one really cares how you got ur degree, as long as you get it. Now I am starting to get into the groove of being a lazy college student on summer break, Im not taking classes because I only need 25 more credits to graduate so it would be a waste of time. I actually excited about working over the summer.. i think it is because I enjoy having some sort of structure to my life. i was just hired at abercrombie kids at governor's square.. which I am quite happy about. I plan on getting another job at a restaurant so I can actually afford all the money i am going to spend at A&F now. Let's see, what else is new in my life. Ahh I am going to be a bride's maid in my dad's wedding.. whenever he has it. That is pretty exciting. HMMM.. I went home for Easter and spent some time with my mom, that was really nice. As for the rest of my life, I am starting to think about what I really want to do when I take my break before grad school.. there is this interesting organization called the Invisible Children which is raising money and awareness about the horrible conditions children have to endure over in Uganda.. I am considering looking into their counseling center in Uganda and offering my services ::shrugs:: we'll see. What else? OH.. I met a boy.. lol.. but whats new about that? Surprisingly this one seems to like me as much as I like him. WEIRD. what guys see in my I will never understand. Im difficult :) But.. we'll see where this goes..you know me.. Im in no hurry to rush into that awkward situation people describe as dating.. but this one is REALLY sweet.. blah. I am taking each day one step at a time. Ive had a really fun past few weeks.. met some really great people.. lots of platonic friends. So this summer should be interesting :)
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
| Time: | 9:27 pm. |
| Mood: |  mellow. |
|
So this weekend I:
- was drunk for almost two days straight
- learned how it feels to truly be broke
- decided that sometimes i just dont give a fuck what other people think
- found a new inner strength that i never knew i had
- reconciled with Cliff
- celebrated Zoe's 21st bday
- helped host one of the biggest parties to ever be thrown that was not associated with an organization, club, or sorority/fraternity
- never felt more desired in my life
- made out with a FSU graduate
- almost got in a fight with 3 or 4 girls
- spent amazing times with my friends
- prayed the cops wouldnt arrest anyone who was at the party
- broke 3 shot glasses without even touching them
- walked around in 5 inch stilettos without breaking my neck
- destroyed the reconciliation with Cliff in less than 7 hrs.
This weekend.. oh goodness this weekend. Zoe's birthday party was amazingly fun and crowded, over 150 people there.. it was WILD. I took wayyy too many shots, but then again you only live once. I dont even really know what to say about the Cliff situation.. besides.. it must really suck for him to realize that he fucked up an amazingly good thing, and it is difficult when the amazingly good thing looks amazingly hot for you to keep your eyes off of her. SO EAT IT UP :) I had a pretty kickass time at some friends' pool party with Zoe, and probably played the longest games of flipcup I have ever had the pleasure to participate in. For some odd reason I couldnt fall asleep last night, unlike my sun goddess of a roommate Cara who slept soundly in my bed for an hour. LOVE YOU GIRLS :) Today I spent some time in the sun working on this tahitian goddess tan.. and thinking. I am ALWAYS thinking. Only about three more weeks in this semester.. it has all gone by so fast. and i was wondering,can we just rename my journal the annoyance with life and boys? lol.. There really is more to my life besides those two things.. but i never think to write in my LJ until im bothered by one of the two. but maybe that is what this thing is for? Things seem to be going well with my family.. my dad has a gf, my brother has a gf, my mom seems to be enjoying life (did I mention my parents actually talk now-- it's great).. so much to be thankful for amidst the aggravation. Im excited about the summer, because I plan to spend the majority of it here, working, going to the gym, and spending time with friends... Sara will be here, and that makes me happy because we really dont get that much time to bond one-on-one so it will be nice for that to happen. And on a sidenote.. Sarah Lou I was so happy u and kevin and brittany came out to the party.. it meant alot to see ya'll.. and quinsta sorry u couldnt make it.. u were missed.. and fisba.. thnx for letting me lay on the bathroom floor--u know what i mean :) Until later LJ fans.. maybe I'll post about something more interesting than my drunken weekend next time lol.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
|
and maybe when i get finished sorting thru it all, ill realize life really is wonderful. "I am hard to remember, but impossible to forget."
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
omg.. so this may be the update to update all updates, lol. But im not really back into my LJ mood yet, so ill just keep this to the basic facts. Let's see.. last post I left of saying that things were over.. well what I meant was that things with me and Cliff-rod were over. To cut to the chase, he thought it would be cool to be with me and someone else at the same time. Last time I checked.. I am NO ONE'S OPTION!!!! ::PERIOD:: Things btwn me and him would never have lasted, no respect for friendships/relationships, no common sense, no goals.. no ambition. I dont want to date someone who may or may not graduate college.. and possibly plans on going back and living off his mama for the next ten years. Ugh, once again this girl's loving was too intense for the poor unsuspecting boy. lol. But boy did we have fun, I dont know what it is.. I cant seem to have a relationship for longer than about 2 mths before it starts to go sour. Maybe it's their fault.. and maybe it's mine, oh well, too much energy spent on the blame game.
Spring break this year was quite possibly the most amazing time of my life. I went down to Key West on Monday and stayed until Friday afternoon. All the days and nights seem to blur into this one massive drunken fun. I had a bLaSt... I spent time with some great people.. with my crunchy granola Zoe.. and with Lauren and her Chili's gang. Meet some great people, some awesome bartenders, and spent endless hours soaking up the sun. I am a TAHITIAN goddess. I think being away from Tallahassee was exactly what I needed, the past few weeks I had been so caught up in the drama of Cliff.. and the end of that relationship.. it was starting to take a toll on my self worth. I went snorkeling for the first time ever. OMG. For the first ten minutes I thought I was going to drown, but I am so proud of myself for braving thru it and conquering some fears. I think it was so fun to be a college student down in the Keys, ppl there are so warm and friendly. It was just a great time for all.
Being back here in tally has been overwhelming.. and I mean.. it started from Friday nite all the way up until now. I need to remember not to get so caught up in the everyday drama of college life. I want to regain some of my values, morals, and standards.. because I know I have slipped away from what I need to be. Hopefully being away from Cliff and his influences will get me back to what I should be. Not to say he was pressuring me to be something Im not.. but I think in my mind I was pushing to prove to him that he didnt have me all figured out. Just like me.. always trying to prove to people that I can do what they think I cant. One day that is going to jump up and bite me in the ass. Ive been interviewing for a new organization on campus.. I did really awesome on my personal interview today..and so I just get to wait to see if they want me or not. If I get in.. it will be very time consuming.. but I want to make this last year of college impressive. I want to do it all. I still have no clue what I am going to be doing this summer. I would love to travel.. but I know I need to work. There is this internship program out in CA.. would love to be there.. but financially I dont think I will be able to swing it. BUT.. i would LOOOOOVVVEEE to get to a Fall Out Boy show this summer.. so maybe I'll look into that. Anywho.. hope this update fills everyone in as much as possible over the internet. LOVE YOU ALL...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, February 20th, 2006
|
|
|
|
have i mentioned that my classes are going well? lol.. i just realized like the past twenty gazillion posts have been about that boy, lol. im ready for spring break.. i wanna get out of this place.. have some time to think. but yes.. til later.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Sunday, February 19th, 2006
|
|
|
|
last nite was quite possibly the biggest slap in the face. and i wont go into details.. but for all u guys out there who are COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that girls have feelings... u should all drive off a cliff (<-- no pun intended) I have never met a more idiotic, no common sense having person than this boy. and i am way too smart, not to mention way too attractive and giving to waste one more week on him. so this week.. i will go back to what i do best, concentrating on school and shielding my emotional vulnerability.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, February 16th, 2006
|
|
|
|
so i survived wicked Valentine's Day '06... and it was a good one. Zoe and I went over to Cliff's with dinner (thats right biotches.. made some lasagna for the boytoys) and we ended up waiting for zoe's boy, Ryan (cliff's roommate)to get off work for about 3 1/2 hrs.. he was supposed to get off work around 930pm.. but that didnt happen. So the three of us sat on the couch laughing about dumb shit and watching the Olympics, etc. It wasnt awkward, although it was a lil weird... only because I was in one of my weird, omg, what is he thinking about me moods.. lol. Im gayfer I know. The evening turned out well.. Ryan finally got home.. we all sat on the couch watching dumb ass re-runs of Married with Children. But, it was so sad bc Cliff was tired from his allnighter Monday nite.. and he fell asleep in my lap *cutie*.. so i sent his ass to bed around 2am. Ugh-- cant believe I did that shit.. that's how much I care about that boy.. putting his needs before my own "needs" lol. Oh yea, Zoe and I got a flower out of it.. so we cant complain there. I <3 those boys. I was content with spending time with him. And I got my meaningful kiss. Then I went over to Diego's for a lil bit.. but got tired and just ended up driving back over to Cliff's and passing the hell out in bed. So, I must say that the night was a success. With hopefully more fun times to come.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, February 13th, 2006
|
|
|
|
Only two more hours until the scariest holiday of the year. The oh so dreaded-- let's make our awkward semi-relationship that much more awkward. Im really not expecting anything exciting to happen. Im looking forward to Diego's 20th bday party tomorrow nite though, should be a barrel of fun.. that boy knows how to bring the party out of me. Im not too excited about the exam I have at 8am though.. should blow a fat one. Then I have work until 5pm tomorrow. Blah, I just want to keep tomorrow UNawkward. But, Im not going to lie.. I really want to spend time with Cliff.. but I dont know if Ill get my wish. I dont want anything materialistic really.. I would be quite content with a meaningful kiss. We all remember how last year turned out. Valentine's day turned out to be just a slide down the unravelling relationship between me and Austin. Which may have been a blessing in disguise.. but still doesnt make me feel that much more excited about the day. We'll keep our fingers crossed.. and I'll let u guys know how it all goes.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, February 4th, 2006
|
|
|
|
I was told it was time to do an update, because my last post isnt really true of whats going on in my life right now. This week has been a good one.. i dont know things have been going quite well. Things with me and the boy are on a positive note.. we had some serious talking that we got out of the way on tuesday. so i wont dwell on that anymore, because I dont want to jinx it. I had one exam this week.. and none this upcoming week.. so I cant really complain about school work too much. Somehow I survived my 9 hr shift in the office yesterday.. then went out to on the border for some margaritas with zoe. and it was so nice to just sit around and bullshit. then cara came and met us up there for a bit. Surprisingly tho, I got really tired.. a lil tipsy so decided to come back to the crib and managed to pass at around midnite. so today i woke up with all this energy but not a damn thing to do. so im gonna start redecorating the room.. because i never really liked it in the first place.. so yea.. thats the task for the day. oh, and start my painting for the living room artwork. Im kinda excited to go out tonite.. im in a total party mood. so, we'll see. hope this update is to everyone's liking!
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, January 26th, 2006
|
|
|
|
This week has been so tiring. Like I know I do it to myself because I am a procrastinator, but I seriously tried to do things ahead of time.. and it never seems to work out. I guess Im just worn out because I am taking 16 credits, which is the most ive ever taken.. and 3 of those are gayass online computer lit class.. and all the shit is easy, it's just actually getting it done. All my psych classes are cool, but they suck too because all my professors are posting the lectures online.. so it is really hard to concentrate when they speak fast and wont give u time to take adequate notes in class. PLUS, to top things off, I am coming to terms with the fact that I am dating someone. Which, I feel like is going to add so much more to my plate. And we arent even official, but I feel like we are because we are going thru all that new relationship bullshit. He pisses me off by being so on-and-off again.. but I always give him the benefit of the doubt. That boy has so many other damn things to worry about besides me.. so I cant really blame him. For now, Im just going with the flow because I dont have the energy to add any unnecessary stress to my life. Plus, Ive been noticing that my ears are starting to get congested again.. and Im worried because I dont think my hearing is actually where it was before my ear infection. It is all kind of scary going to the doctor trying to figure out why you cant hear too well.. Im only 20.. and Im scared I am suffering some significant hearing loss. Blah.. let's just say I am looking forward to the weekend.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
mochadream21's journal
ecstatic.
annoyed.
cold.
awake.
cynical.
full.
okay.
indescribable.
pissed off.
artistic.
tired.